Category Archives: humour

Pop pop pop!

A recycled, recycled ‘Musing,’ for Shrove Tuesday!

” ‘Whizz pop whizz pop pop pop poppety pop pop,’ faster and ever so much faster flew the pancakes. Thicker and thicker. Bigger and bigger. They came out flatways and edgeways. They shot high in the air and stuck to the ceiling. One sailed across the room and hit the Vicar in the waistcoat, where it may or may not have reminded him of the ironholders for the South Crashbania natives. Pop poppety, pop pop pop. It was like a machine gun but much more sploshy. The Professor struggled out of his pancake just in time for another one to drop over him. Two pancakes were on the clock, four were draped over the light. The Mayor was eating his way through a complete set of pancakes of varying sizes that had fallen in front of him. The four firemen put their helmets on and brandished their axes, but only succeeded in smashing two cups, one saucer and the sugar basin. Mrs Flittersnoop put her head gingerly out from under the table and was immediately gummed to the carpet by a three-foot pancake two inches thick that had just shot out.”
From The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm by Norman Hunter

Why, why, why

“Ah! You’re reading SAGA Magazine,” exclaimed Ms M triumphantly, a few minutes ago. I guess she regards this as the ultimate evidence that her mother is cantering down the slippery slope into complete decrepitude. Answer – an elderly acquaintance of mine kindly gave me her copies. Actually,they’re rather good – though I’ll not be taking out a subscription anytime soon.

In any case, she’s a fine one to talk – being about to head on down to the racecourse for Ladies Day with a guest appearance by a certain Sir Tom Jones. That’s different, apparently.

Looking back and looking forward – life stirs

in the archive ‘Musings,’ – at last!

On 8 April 2005 we learn:

Son collided with daughter just now, on his way into the bathroom. She was coming out of it. Neither saw the other coming;both having burst into a spontaneous rendering of ‘The Road to Amarillo!’

More original than ‘Happy Birthday To You,’ I guess – it being Mr M’s half century plus some birthday today.

Official Announcement

7 April does not exist, in the archival sense of the word. Having nicked 2010’s entry for yesterday’s post, I’m now suffering from severe lack of bloggery: 08, 07, 06, 05 – there is nothing going on on that day; at least, anything worth wibbling about, anyway. And in April 2004, I was wandr’ing wild and free, happily unfettered by the chains of modern technology and social networking.

Ah well, back to the drawing board.

A complete disgrace

Yes, I’m so lazy I even pinch other blogger’s post header ideas! 😉 I Am Another Blogger who suffers from serial procrastinitis and acute inability to put finger to keyboard, even though I’m hardly lacking in topics to blog about: contemplative prayer, art journaling, spiritual direction, CAP Close The Gap campaign, Richard Rohr, Greenbelt, Green churches, pilgrimage, back exercises, pilgrimage planning (hence back exercises), Franciscan tertaries, mystics, ornamental cabbages…Life on Mars…

Is there no hope for me?

Shock, horror, revelation

Hello, I’m Miffy and…wait for it…I’m harbouring an uncontrollable urge to acquire a wheeled shopper! Is there any hope for me? Pop over to my Greenpatches blog to find out more…if you dare. 😉

Other than that, the summer season is in full swing chez Miffy. Offspring One is sunning herself in Malta. Offspring Two and his mates have just set off* for La Belle France, and Mr M has launched himself back into his training programme. No big events this year, though plans are in the pipeline for a reprise of part of his 2006 TDF shadowing for 2011. And talking of pipes, the Miffy internal plumbing is again under investigation, though indications point to nothing serious; hopefully, it’s due to time of life. (Which might account for my weird urges above!). Could make for an interesting time at Greenbelt, though. I’ll need to steer clear of all those lovely, exotic food stalls. (Bah!)

* Armed with a pile of cheese and egg and watercress sandwiches to last them five days, I’ve just been informed. Again, this could be ‘interesting.’

Policemen are getting younger

Let’s face it – at my age, everybody is getting younger, even Dr Who. Yes, we’ve finally said goodbye to David Tennant (:() ages after the remainder of the televiewing public of course. All we have to do now is catch up with the Matt Smith episodes. Who, incidentally, hails from UEA, where Miffy Jnr is about to embark on his final year.

Earlier, the young chap at the health food shop introduces himself- turns out he was at school with our son. Gracious me, I feel so old!

Meanwhile, dreams…yes…well… My earlier worries that the good Doctor would filter through into my subconscious seem to have been unfounded. Unfortunately, sundry other bits and bobs have wormed their way in in his place. Sooo embarrassing! If this is the effect all my healthy eating is having on the system, I dread to think what’ll happen if I sucuumb to good old fat-ridden fish and chips or a curry. What did Jung eat, I wonder?

The therapeutic approach to customer service

Received in the post today from our friendly gas board:

“Dear Mrs Miffy,

Recently, we visited you to service or repair your central heating/boiler.

We would like to know how we left you feeling?”

Heavens above. I thought this was meant to be an annual service, not a counselling session. 🙂

Lightweight intellectual and political ponderings

Or put another way:

“O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!”

As a lightweight, flighty,flittergibbet, if you believe all you read. According to Wikio, in whose august directory I’ve currently reached the dizzy heights of number 18920, (Woowhooo!!! – no, I’ll not be adding their badge to Musings just yet), Musings falls into the ‘Entertainment’ category. When I checked further, it’s become clear that my prelidiction for the goings-ons of a certain Mr D Tennant may have something to do with it. How embarrassing. This wasn’t my intention at all. When first I put pen to paper – or finger to mouse – in 2004, I was under the impression that my profound theological gems were just what the blogosphere had been waiting for all these years. So, what happened?

Even more odd – is my presence in a local directory, amidst sundry worthy and politically minded bloggers. Not that I’m complaining; never let it be said that I can’t rise to a challenge! What would Dr Who have voted, that’s what I’d like to know.